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I had every reason to be mad at God
My husband Ian and I were married right out of college. Nine years later, we were living a picture-perfect life. He was a self employed software developer and I was a stay-at-home mom to three wonderful children. Life couldn’t get any better.
I never saw it coming. That January day, a cough gone wrong sent us to the emergency room to receive the worst news of our lives.
“Your husband is in septic shock. I’d advise you get your things in order.”
Everything pointed to my thirty-two year old husband’s death. He was alive only with the help of a ventilator. There was nothing left to do. In desperation, I fell to my knees face down on the floor and prayed.
But, would you believe me if I told you I’m not angry? Instead, I’m grateful. Thanks to these experiences, our family has learned lessons that will last a lifetime.
"God, please save Ian’s life! You can do all things! I’m not ready to be a single mom! I can’t do this alone! I need your help!"
What happened next can only be attributed to God. A deep sense of peace flooded through me. A heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. God was in control of our situation. I needed to trust Him. Only He could get us through this nightmare.
After nine long days in a coma, Ian woke up! God answered our prayers! I would have a husband to grow old with after all. Our children wouldn’t have to grow up without a daddy. Witnessing this miracle rekindled my faith in God and the power of prayer.
We were grateful that Ian was going to live, but we had new challenges to face. Medications that saved his life had also done irreversible damage to his hands and feet. Despite our best efforts, Ian’s limbs could not be saved. His legs and fingers were amputated six months later.
I have every reason to be angry at God. The picture-perfect life I imagined is gone. My husband is now a double below-knee amputee without fingers. Our children have experienced hardship I wish they hadn’t. My own emotions have been on a rollercoaster. The journey hasn’t been easy.
During this trial, God has used my weaknesses to show me His strength. He has taught me that I am not in control and showed me His faithfulness in providing our needs. Our family also witnessed unimaginable healing and joy. These experiences have molded me into the person I am today. I am eternally grateful!
I’m happy to share our family has reached a new normal. Ian walks with prosthetic legs and is back at work. In the last several years Ian has gone skiing, run marathons on his running blades and even climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa! Who would have imagined such amazing accomplishments from a man who wasn’t supposed to live through the night? Only God.
When Ian and I think about the hard times, we see so much good that came from our trial. We would have never chosen this path for our family, but seeing where we are now, we wouldn’t want to be anywhere other than God’s chosen path for us. If you are in the midst of a challenging situation, friends, I encourage you to trust God. He sees you where you are, and He is in control. Rest in His promise that all things will work together for your good.
As Paul said in Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
A longer version of this post can be found at www.denissewarshak.com