Quarantine Can Strengthen Your MarriageBookmark this
You may have heard that marriages are predicted to be another casualty of COVID-19. Pundits warn to prepare for an uptick in divorce cases once the courts reopen and couples fed up with each other in quarantine determine to permanently separate.
Your marriage does not have to end up a statistic – even if you have entertained thoughts of divorce. According to national research, one-fourth of married Americans are considering divorce at any given time. Every couple goes through challenging seasons in their marriage. But the vast majority stay together and want to improve their marriages.
Eighty percent of couples who have gone through a rough patch in their marriage consider themselves “very happy” five years later.
Why not channel your desire for change in a positive direction toward your spouse and spark a renaissance in your marriage? It is possible.
“The silver lining here is that – in the face of so much trauma and economic dislocation – (due to COVID-19) most marriages will not collapse, and many will instead emerge stronger and more stable as husbands and wives develop a new appreciation for how much they love and depend on their spouse – and how much they, their kids and their kin, depend on them keeping their marriage together,” said Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and a senior fellow of the Institute for Family Studies, in a recent Wall Street Journal article.
Take heart from the examples of two couples associated with the San Antonio Marriage Initiative (SAMI) — a non-profit organization dedicated to help strengthen marriages. They transformed marriages on the brink into vibrant, fulfilling relationships.
Donna and Robert’s marriage started in a rocky place. The young couple couldn’t have been more mismatched. They disagreed on politics, religion – all the big issues. Everything was hard — and the fights were getting worse. After six months, Donna was ready to throw in the towel. Robert’s parents had a good marriage, and he refused to consider divorce. Donna agreed. She knew she didn’t want to raise their son without his father, and she decided to stay in the marriage.
The couple had three really hard years together. They had to figure out how to compromise, to work together, to love each other through their differences. One day Robert stumbled on marriage resources that offered tools that really helped improve their marriage. Fast forward 25 years. Donna and Robert’s marriage has gone from surviving to thriving. They now lead marriage ministries in their church – sharing with other couples individually and in small groups – the life-changing lessons they’ve learned.
Rick and Sue have weathered the challenge of juggling two extremely demanding careers — facing constant moves and issues of authority. They needed to learn how to keep their careers from sabotaging their marriage, how to check their work personalities at the door and relate to each other in a productive and positive manner as husband and wife at home.
Rick and Sue are not alone, whether the cause is work, children’s activities or volunteer commitments, many couples realize they are ships that pass in the night – roommates more than a couple. Once they identified the situation, they took steps to locate resources to help them learn to navigate marriage in more positive way.
“As much as I love Cinderella, the idea that there’s a happily ever after without any conflict is bunk,” Sue said. “Marriage is work. Everybody struggles, but you are not alone.”
SAMI has resources for help and hope. Whether you are developing a firm foundation, struggling with an issue or just want to rekindle some lasting romance, SAMI will point you in the right direction. You’ll find everything from whom to call for intervention or counseling, to ideas for a romantic date night and everything in between at their website – www.samarriage.org.
SAMI Board Member and Founder of the California Healthy Marriage Initiative, Dennis Stoica said, “San Antonio has more marriage resources per square mile than any place in the United States.”
Reach out. SAMI will put you in touch with someone local to help and equip you. The toughest step to take is to the first one.
23995 Bat Cave Road, Suite 150 SAT 78266
Be A Light
Search. Visit the ministry website. Find inspiration to keep your marriage healthy. Attend. Register to attend one of the many events SAMI hosts throughout the year. Volunteer. Ask how you can become an advocate for marriages in your church. Pray. Pray for the ministry to continue to thrive and reduce the divorce rate in our community. Give. The Marriage Initiative invites you to partner with them financially so even more marriages can be impacted in our community.